A short while back we talked about how to maintain your friendships after having children. It was a popular one. Girls like to talk about relationships. Another theme that seems to circulate around the web regarding post mommy hood is that of kidless friends and how they just don’t quite understand what us mommy’s go through. Some of these posts and videos that I’ve seen are for sure hilarious to watch and read, but as I’ve navigated my own transition from kid free zone to mommy-hood, I’ve found nothing but the most selfless souls in all my friends without offspring. So kidless friends, this one’s for you.
To my friends with no children,
Thank you for still being my friend.
Let’s be honest, I have done absolutely nothing for you in the past year and a half. I’m talkin’ no birthday gifts, no coffee drive bys, no spontaneous pedicure trips, nothin’. And yet, you are still my friend.
Thank you for dropping off coffee to me in the middle of the day and pretending to care about how tired I am. You do a really good job. Thank you for listening as I talk about teething habits and food transitions and how “we” just tried spinach for the first time and how “we” are having explosive green poops in “our” diaper now. You listen so intently, almost like you actually care, and I love you for it.
Thanks for holding my snotty kid as I use the bathroom “real quick”. For we all know that unless it’s YOUR child, no snotty kid is adorable, or clean.
Thanks for talking like an old librarian whenever you come over, so as to not wake my precious lovebug. You make indoor voices seem like it’s the only way you ever wish to talk again. You’re so good at it. You make whispering cool.
And thanks for still confiding in me, the sweetest details of your life, when most of the time, I’m not listening. I’m really, really trying to. But, I’m most likely not.
And when you’re over at an hour that is past baby angel’s bedtime, thanks for acting like you don’t hear anything as my child violently screams the scream of a thousand screams. Your selective hearing means so much to me.
Thanks for learning how to use my Britax stroller and carseat. Eight months ago you though Britax was a new face cleaner, but now, now you know.
And thanks for still inviting me places, even though you know that the chances are slim, and even if I do show up, it will be with a little being drenched in slobber attached to my hip, and the chances of getting bowel excretions on your belongings is very, very, high.
All to say, I love you, I appreciate you, and when you someday have kids of your own, I probably won’t do the same for you, but you will understand.
Your Mom Friend